I don't know what I'm doing....
show it
Published on March 31, 2005 By kinjruh In Misc
Well, I know I haven't written in a while, and I'm so sorry, but I have had nothing to write about and I've been swamped with life in general lately(any one out there felt that way for like a whole month?) So, any way, I wrote a poem today during geometry- most of all because geometry generally depresses me, but I'm had an epiphany of self-realization. I realized that the way I present myself is the only way people know how to treat me-this being a bad thing overall when I put myself in the crule and disrespectfull hands of others. I reflected over how my image came off to those people I care about and who i want more than anything to respect me and look well upon me, and it wasn't a pleasent sight. I will try much harder to contain my craziness untill acceptable times-and I hope those of you around me will hold me to it. I realize that I am unreasonably spastic and obnoxious most of the time, and now I know that this is the way I am perceived all the time. I just wanted to come off as optimistic and happy, but I guess it didn't turn out that way. I also try to stop the perverse and uneeded comments sometimes given by guys who don't respect me in the least-or don't respect themselves enough to know when to shut their mouthes, and I realize that sometimes it's just not effective for me to be the one confronting them and I'd appreciate maybe an interjection from a friend in these times of degridation. So thank you all for readind this far. I hope you like the poem or can relate to it in some way.



SPEAK UP

Degrated-I hate it.
Every day something new.
I can't deny one thing
I never would do.

But you cannot see that
you sit there like stone.
Absorbing their lies
The truth is disowned.

I'm better than that
Respect me-I plea!
Don't hate me for them
Don't beleive them for me.

I sit here regretting
The way I've been born
praying for silence
yet knowing I'm torn

Torn from the truth
and left with the lies
But knowing I'm tainted
through your gazing eyes.

I can't make it stop
But I know that you can
Please save my life-
speak up. Take a stand.



Comments (Page 1)
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on Mar 31, 2005
Kendra, you are my best chick friend ever, and you know that I love you and want what's best for you, and would never ever lie to you. We've had this conversation before. For starters, the problem is not that youre "crazy and obnoxious". Being a little crazy is just fine seeing how all of us are. The way you present yourself is the problem and PART (not all, some of the guys who disrespect you are just disgusting idiots with a collective IQ just four points higher than butter) of it is 1. the way you dress. I have a book for you, remind ME!!!!! 2. The way you don't say no in a demanding tone. You have to stand up for yourself. You have to claim the respect that I know and everyone on here knows you deserve. You don't need to stop being "crazy" or whatever you just need to learn how to respect yourself for one, and learn how to present yourself in a way that demands respect.
If you want to talk call me.
Love,
Sarah
on Mar 31, 2005
I hate to sound negative (again) but, seriously, we all know that I've got my own style of craziness and obnoxiousness, yet I don't let that get it the way of making sure people see that I have needs and wants too. These guys that treat you this way, that I know of, are not the people you want "respecting" you anyways... For them to respect a girl is to have sex with her and then never talk about it again. They're pigs and you shouldn't be around them anyways.

Capt. over and out!

P.S.~ If you have a problem with a certain guy let me know, everyone that knows me knows that I don't give mercy out too often so yelling at someone is not a problem for me.
on Apr 01, 2005
For them to respect a girl is to have sex with her and then never talk about it again. They're pigs and you shouldn't be around them anyways.


why is that?...cant people just not do "it" and get along with each other.

If you have a problem with a certain guy let me know, everyone that knows me knows that I don't give mercy out too often so yelling at someone is not a problem for me.


Its like the mafia...


You have your own style and personality...thats what makes you, you. Think if I didnt like the weather....Ahhhh i would go crazy


Ns38
on Apr 01, 2005
If you have a problem with a certain guy let me know, everyone that knows me knows that I don't give mercy out too often so yelling at someone is not a problem for me.


Same with me.....though if you need a little something more than yelling, that's not a problem, I don't have a problem with teaching people a "lesson".

The people who treat you like this are complete assholes, that's all there is to it. They won't respect you because they're typical (man, I don't want to say this) guys. As we all know, most guys are complete and utter assholes....and they don't have an ounce of respect for anyone or pretty much anything. You'll probably have to deal with this a lot.....so I suggest that you start learning from Sarah on how to totally yell at someone and get your point across. (Sarah's damn good at intimidation....even though she is small ) As you can see you've got friends that will help you out....so, if you need us, we'll be there....don't hesistate to ask.

Its like the mafia...


Of course, Jeffers....gotta look out for the family.

~Zoo
on Apr 01, 2005


Same with me.....though if you need a little something more than yelling, that's not a problem, I don't have a problem with teaching people a "lesson".


Can I join the mafia?

Ns38
on Apr 01, 2005
Can I join the mafia?


Sure, why not?

~Zoo
on Apr 01, 2005
Sure, why not?


Yes...urrrr...me strong and big...bash heads in


NS38
on Apr 01, 2005
Yes...urrrr...me strong and big...bash heads in


Uh....maybe someday....maybe someday...



~Zoo
on Apr 01, 2005
Uh....maybe someday....maybe someday


lol thats funny....If I belive I can take you I can....NOT

oh by the way kendra sorry I didnt go

Ns38
on Apr 01, 2005
I AM GLAD IT RAINED...HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA ....(Breath)...HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
on Apr 01, 2005
lol thats funny....If I belive I can take you I can....NOT


That's right you can't....

~Zoo
on Apr 02, 2005
That's right you can't....


someday,someday

Ns38
on Apr 02, 2005
Why don't you two (Shaun and Jeffers)just write eachother a love letter, rent a room, or somthing and get it over with. (jk) Thanks for all the advice guys. Yeah-I know how I am,too. I don't want to talk about it but thanks any way, Sarah. I don't want any one to beat any one up . And there is a certain guy, if not a few. Matt Toliver is one- but I was recenly informed by Patrick that "He's not like that all the time, Kendra, he just wants to impress the guys he hangs out with." Thank you , Patrick-I am now justfied by the fact that he's "Not like that all the time." If it happens again though, I'll just deal with it- there's no need to interfere-though I appreciate everyone's concern.

_KInjruh_
on Apr 02, 2005
Why don't you two (Shaun and Jeffers)just write eachother a love letter, rent a room, or somthing and get it over with.


UH NO!!!!!!!!!

Anyways I dont want to.

Ns38
on Apr 02, 2005
Why don't you two (Shaun and Jeffers)just write eachother a love letter, rent a room, or somthing and get it over with.


Uh, no....not again. Kidding, of course.....kidding a lot, actually.

I'll just deal with it- there's no need to interfere-though


Hey, if it bothers you we'll take care of it if you need us to....I don't think any of us have a problem sticking up for you.

~Zoo
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